Gorgeous Sarah is 29 years old and lives in Canberra, Australia. We started speaking a couple of weeks ago, during our first conversation I hadn’t laughed that much in ages!! Sweet and funny, Sarah also as a pug baby, called Apu (you know, like the monkey in Aladdin)!! Even though she has been married for over two years, Sarah only recently started speaking to other western women with Indian husbands. She has made some interesting observations since falling in love with an Indian and speaking to other ‘gori wives’…
I have been married to a Punjabi man for just over 2 years now. I met him when I lived in Darwin, we both worked in the same shopping centre, and I was crazy about him from the first moment I looked at him.
My friends immediately said, “you do realize he is an Indian don’t you, that’s disgusting” and well, no I didn’t realize. I didn’t really know anything about India or Indians; I thought they all wore turbans!! The only thing I knew for sure was that butter chicken was an Indian dish. I didn’t know why my friends were disgusted, I thought he was beautiful! It was then I found out about the stereotypes of Indians, as a person who would never judge someone because of their race, that didn’t stop me from fancying him!
While we lived in the same state, neither of us had guts to talk to the other. It wasn’t until I moved to Sydney, and he moved to Townsville, that we come across each other again, this time on Facebook. I couldn’t find him at first, I spent ages looking for him on his friend’s Facebook page (my husband was super jealous when he saw that I had added his friend!). So anyway, the rest is history.
The first time we lived together, we had to share house with other Indians, it was quite uncomfortable. I remember feeling that I didn’t belong there, they spoke their language and looked at me as if I were an alien. I had already falling in love with this man, so I stuck it out.
There was a lot of tension and jealousy between me and the housemates, especially when I first moved in. They had lived in an empty house, with nothing but mattresses to sleep on. I arrived to the house, a stranger from another culture with a king size bed, big flat screen television, washing machine etc. The guys of the house watched me as I unpacked, they’d never experienced living with an Aussie girl before. It wasn’t long before we moved out and got our own place, thank God.
Eventually we got engaged, and then married. We’ve had my in-laws stay with us a couple of times, my mother in law has taught me have to cook my husband’s favourite dishes among other Indian things. I have been so blessed to have been accepted by them with open arms.
One night, after a few nights of having my in-laws with us, my father in-law started crying, which instantly made me cry, but I had no idea why! He then started to tell my husband how they are all so lucky to have me as their daughter-in-law, so I cried even more!! My in-laws are amazing, and I have such a close relationship with my brother and sister in-law. Earlier this year, I spent six weeks in India, was wonderful.
When we were first married, I was living in a bubble, I thought I was the only white girl who married an Indian. I didn’t think it was a big deal, I don’t think my marriage is superior because it is an intercultural one, we are just two people who love each other. Then I started coming across other western woman who have married Indian men, these ‘gori wife communities’ started popping up. I was so excited to find other women who could relate to me and my marriage.
I soon realised that there were strange dynamics going on between some of the ‘gori wives’. There are some who I adore and could share my deepest feelings with, but I have also stumbled across a whole heap of woman married to Indian’s who have shocked me, and I cannot help but laugh at their behaviour! Living their life to try and convince the world that their relationship is the most perfect, that their husband is the best and viciously gossiping about the other ‘gori wives’. Why are some of the ‘gori wives’ behaving like this? I believe they are trying to prove to everyone that their husband really does love them and they aren’t just being used for a visa. I honestly think that these are the women who aren’t sleeping at night because they have doubt themselves!
My life isn’t perfect, and I’ll never try and convince you otherwise, I’m just an Aussie in love, and he happens to be Indian (as pointed out by my ‘helpful’ friends the first day I saw him!).