Lauren

My Husband’s Kidney Stones

Nothing can make you more aware of how lucky you are than that moment when you know a loved one is going to be fine. Sitting outside intensive care at four in the morning, praying that my husband will be okay, I realised how much I have taken health for granted for too long now. 

It was three in the morning when I woke up and my husband was in complete agony, rolling around on the floor, unable to speak. I was completely petrified. My husband never complains when he is sick, so for him to be showing this much distress, I knew it was bad. We rushed him to a nearby hospital but it was closed, thankfully the second one was open. They took him to intensive care, gave him pain relief and said we had to just wait until the doctor came. 

Unable to stay with him, I waited outside with my mother-in-law and several other people who were sleeping deeply on makeshift beds, covered in hospital blankets. When I say outside, it was literally outside, a lean-to full of old hospital beds, shoes, sleeping people and mosquitoes.  The rain crept in from outside as the early morning monsoon raged. I spent the hours promising myself that I will be more grateful for health from now on, I bargained with my own thoughts, ‘I will do anything, just let him be okay’. 

As the mosquitoes feasted on my feet, the sky changed from violet to grey, the monsoon winds calmed, the rain stopped and birds started to sing their morning chorus. The doctor suspected kidney stones but we had to wait for sonography to confirm the diagnosis. We waited and waited and waited some more. I watched a rat the size of a small dog scuttle around, I stared at drops of dried blood forming perfect circles on the floor, my stomach was in knots.  A maid came by and started to sweep, as she crouched down and swept, she spat on the floor, pulled the blankets off of the sleeping visitors and started shouting at them in Marathi. I felt the sharp pain of despair, I just wanted to see my husband, I wanted the pain to stop, for him to be healthy and to take him away from this place.

I knew that kidney stones were the most probable cause, but this didn’t stop my mind from conjured up several worse diagnoses, torturing myself with my own imagination. After almost nine hours in the hospital, we could finally go for an ultrasound which confirmed it, kidney stones. I was so happy it was kidney stones (which would have seemed a strange reaction to anyone else), I scolded myself for imagining worse. 

Two stones still in his kidney, one on his way out and the doctor suspected he had already passed a fourth one. My poor husband, apparently passing kidney stones is more painful than childbirth and to have four of them… He has been so brave and I am so proud of him. After four days in hospital, he is now back at home.

I have learnt we should always try to be grateful for our health and the health of others. Gratitude itself helps us to stay healthy. Appreciate the positive to give less importance to the negative, focus on the blessings and not the inconveniences.

46 comments

  1. आपल्या पतीला आयुरारोग्य लाभो ही सदिच्छा! 🙂

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  2. What a horrible experience.Praying he feels better soon. I felt sick thinking of the rats and blood on the floor. I am so sorry that happened. Do some research and find a better place for care so in an emergency you know where it is

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    • Hey Jocelyn,
      Yes, it was horrible. I hope you guys are okay and your memoir is going well (so excited for it, I bought married to Bhutan today because I was so excited for your memoir haha)

      We are going to look for a good hospital once we move to another place so if there is another emergency (heaven forbid) we know where to go!

      Take care xxx

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  7. Oh, Lauren, it sounds terrifying, all of it!!! So glad it was kidney stones and not something worse. I have had scares with my husband which so far have proven to be okay in the end so I know the terror of it all. And, yes, find a better ER to go to should, God forbid, you need it again. Big hugs, and the best to your husband!! xx ellen

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  10. How awful! All you can do is be there for him and hope for better days ahead….it is always scary but coming out of it makes us concentrate on our health more. Hoping him a speedy recovery dear….xoxo

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  11. Hope hubby’s recovering well Lauren! I can only imagine what were you going through.. brrrrrr. Scary. Take good care of him (am sure you do!) x M

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  13. Nagpurian hospitals may not be good but the doctors here are really nice they will leave no stone unturned to make him feel better… Nd don’t worry he will be OKAY!!!

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  14. wow what a terrible experience Lauren. Sorry you had to go through that. Our nephew had those stones also amd he drank several litres of water a day. They seem to have dispersed now. Lots of good wishes to your hubby.

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  16. “Kidney Stones” huhhhh that causes terrible pain. My husband faced it too. Luckily he dint need surgical intervention as we could manage with Ayurveda and horse gram decoction to flush them out. This works when the stone size is small though.

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  17. So sorry to hear that your husband had to go thro’ the excruciating pain and horrifying ordeal that kidney stones can create. I had to face it many years ago, and the memories of that traumatic event still make me shiver. Thanks to gallons of H2O and to the narcotic and analgesic powers of Vicodin that helped me to sail through that torture. My best wishes to you and your family.

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    • Sorry you had to go through it too, Deo!
      My husband spent four days on IV fluids, on Friday we went for some more sonography to see that there are still two there. They are the smallest ones so hopefully with all the water he is drinking, they should go on their merry way without any more intervention.

      I hope you and your family are well!! Take care

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      • Thanks Lauren. Often H2O does the magic. It’s truly an universal solvent, kidney stones being no exception either! In my case the excruxiating pain had lasted for about a week only, before its disappearance. I did not take any special medication (other than vicodin for managing the pain) and only drank quite a few gallons of water every day. Interestingly the pain disappeared suddenly, which surpised my urologist and PCP….they both were surprised to see the large stone disppearing so quickly as much as with the fact that I had not even realized passing it. The X-ray before and after clearly confirmed the appearance and disappearance of kidney stone.

        On relevant note, I think that it’s important to capture the stone, if one can, and get it analyzed so that its recurrence can be avoided by managing either the diet or appropriate treatment, e.g. depending on whether the kidney stone is composed of calcium oxalate or uric acid or struvite or cystine, the strategy to avoid recurrence can change substantially. I am sharing these details just in case they can be of any help. With Best Wishes!

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      • Hey Deo,

        Thanks for the info!!
        I have been trying to make my husband pee through a tea strainer but he is really not keen and now he is away with work, hard to enforce it. I have explained to him the importance but…

        I am glad the pain stopped suddenly for you! My husband is on all sorts of medicines to dilate the urinary tract. The last thing we want is surgery. I don’t think that will happen though because the two remaining stones (after the big ones have gone) are only 6 and 7mm.

        I hope you are well, I bet you still drink excessive water to this day!!

        Lauren

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  19. Oh my… how frightening!!! What an ordeal for you all. But so glad to hear that hubby is ok. My mum always says the only thing you should ever wish for is good health! With good health, everything else may be possible! So how you finish off this post… is very very true to what I believe 🙂

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    • It really was awful. Then yesterday, I had to rush Alfonso to the animal hospital (he is now fine). Health is something a lot of us just take for granted. It is one of those ‘you never know how lucky you are until its gone’ kinda things. I hope you guys are well xxx

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  22. Try Cital H Tablets from Indoco Remedies, your supposed to take one tablet in the morning and another in the evening (before/after meals). It’s a 3 month course and since its Ayurvedic no-side effects.

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  23. Hi Lauren, I could imagine your agony while waiting and I cringed just reading your entire experience. I hope that your husband is doing okay. It is said that cranberry juice and coconut water can help to dissolve kidney stones so best to do more research on these natural remedies as well. All the best and cheers! – Alice Walker

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