During the four months since I have returned to England, I have graduated with my masters degree in pharmacy and have been working towards qualifying as a pharmacist. The last thing I wanted to do was quit, but I’ve come to the decision to quit my job.
I started on my journey to becoming a pharmacist back in 2009, when I was a completely different person. Those four years studying for my master degree were really tough on me, I didn’t have the ‘time of my life’ as university has been advertised as. University was definitely not what had I expected. There were so many instances when I started to pack my bags and begged to go home. In the end, I persisted and gained my masters degree and I am extremely proud of that!
It was during my last months of university when I first came into contact with my husband and within days of talking to him, I knew I would be moving to India to be with him. Once I had finished my exams, I went to India and fell in love all over again. My summer in India gave me a taste of how my life will be once I move there permanently. I know that living in India vs. moving to India are two very different things, but I am prepared to brave it!
I finally had what I had longed for my whole life; romance, tenderness and love. I still felt that I should finish my training in the UK, something I had been committed to for four years. Leaving India broke my heart but I had been expected to become a pharmacist and I did not want to disappoint anyone or live with any regrets! So here I am, four months into my twelve month training.
The training itself is so stressful. I dread going to work everyday and cannot see myself doing this for much longer. Being a pharmacist in reality is very different to how I thought it would be. It just doesn’t fit the person I am. This is not something that I want to spend my life doing. Pharmacists are essential to the healthcare system and do an amazing job but unfortunately I have come to realise that this career is not for me.
It is not only the training and being away from my husband that has been a strain. I have had to move to a completely new town, I have no support system here and the stress just keeps building. I have become so unhappy. Lately I have been told by a doctor not to go to work because I could not stop crying. I never thought a job could do this to me. I am realising the importance of happiness more and more. I have spent a large proportion of my adult life in misery and now enough is enough.
I feel its time for me to do what will make me feel happy instead of continuing what is expected of me and what I expected of myself. I am going to follow my heart and return to India to be with my husband. I will certainly use my healthcare knowledge in India and build myself a new career somehow, something I will enjoy and feel passionate about. Sometimes it is just best to quit and move on to something new!