English Life, Indian Wife 40

I expected to have all of those ‘repatriation’ culture shocks, but coming back to England was like slipping back in time, into the warm slippers of my comfort zone. England is just the same as it always was, have I just woken up from a complex and life changing dream? The changes I feel are within myself, not the world around me. I feel stronger and calmer, more stable. Last time I stood on English soil, I was suffering with anxiety disorder and depression, life was difficult, looking back I am surprised I managed the journey to India in my condition! Returning to England has revealed to me how much I have changed.

India forced me face my fears head on, I was thousands of miles away from my definition of normal. Along with discovering more about my own spirituality, that push, however stressful, has given me strength that those little white pills never could (I’m talking about antidepressants)! I am pretty proud of myself and so grateful to my fabulous husband for being so supportive during my first year in India (I miss him so much!).

England is cold and Christmasy! After having a year-long summer (by English standards), that first blast of icy air when I left Heathrow airport was refreshing, it didn’t take more than a couple of second for ‘refreshing’ to become unbearable, but I did savour that moment while it lasted!

I must have eaten my weight in cheese products and already have several Christmas songs stuck in my head. Whilst I absolutely love celebrating Hindu festivals, they do not hold the magical nostalgia that Christmas has. That extra spark that I am sure my husband feels for Diwali, childhood memories and familiar traditions. It’s such a relief to see my family again and I’m feeling so excited to see some of my dear friends later this week!

So here I am, feeling like an Indian wife living an English life, wearing cosy slippers! 

(The header image, for those who do not know, is of the birth of Jesus Christ and the reason for celebrating Christmas. I am planning on writing several posts about Christmas and Christmas traditions before the big event itself. Picture credit: fellowshipofminds.com)

About Lauren Mokasdar

Lauren fell in love on the internet, took a one way flight from England, got married & started a new life & bicultural family in India. She writes about finding happiness & balance between two very different worlds, when her baby takes a nap.

40 thoughts on “English Life, Indian Wife

  • Lala Rukh

    Oh so you are back ! On a holiday or permanently ?
    I have moved to England recently and yes it is a beautiful country. Wish you all the best for your life ahead 🙂 Love xx

    • Lauren Mokasdar Post author

      Hey Lala,
      How is England treating you? I remember you telling me you are moving here!
      I am only here for 6 weeks, my husband and dog are still in India, this is just a visit!
      I hope you are settling in well, I hope you enjoy your first Christmas 😀

      Lots of love xx

    • Lauren Mokasdar Post author

      Thank you!!!
      Yes, I am guessing that our husbands must feel the same about their holidays 😀
      Lucky we can celebrate all of them 😀
      I hope you guys are well, have to catch up soon! xx

  • Susan

    Glad you are enjoying yourself, Lauren! You should be very proud of how much stronger you have become this past year. You are an inspiration to me as I suffer from anxiety and depression, sometimes overwhelming, but always there in some way. Happy Holidays! Take care, Susan

    • Lauren Mokasdar Post author

      Thank you so much, Susan! Your kind words mean so much!!
      Anxiety and depression are foul beasts!! We just need to keep fighting and not be too hard on ourselves!
      I hope you are well!
      Merry Christmas xx

  • Amanda McMahon

    Enjoy your time AND the cheese AND peppermint sticks (or are candy canes more American?) I miss those! 🙂 I can’t find any here yet. I’ve been watching for them!

    • Lauren Mokasdar Post author

      We have peppermint sticks!
      Oooooh I cannot even express to you how amazing it’s been to have 24/7 access to awesome cheese. Heavenly! Kinda miss pani puri though 😛
      I hope you guys are well!
      Merry Christmas! xx

  • Abhishek

    Looking forward to your posts and lots and lots of pictures showing christmas celebrations. Hoping you will have a great time 🙂

  • Anshuman Mishra

    Glad to know that you are enjoying the same old ambiance that you craved so much… looking forward to read more posts about your Xmas celebrations.

  • Every Day Adventures in Asia

    It is funny how my first ‘carol’ party in India was such fun – I didn’t realise til everyone starting singing with photocopied carol books that I actually knew most of the words!

    A flood of memories of my parents annual carol party came back – with an opera singing mother and all her pals, you can imagine the complex harmonies and power of that basement bursting with exceptional singing. 🙂

    My partner and I met at a Christmas eve party in Mumbai and from the first note of his rich baritone, I knew I was a gonner!

    Though I have never regretted my previous 15 years marriage and absorption into an untraditional Marwari family, life with my Anglo-Indian partner was just like stepping into those comfy well worn slippers you discovered on arriving back in the UK.

    For me, a perfect blend of my Indian and non-Indian parts!

    Keep growing and enjoying your journey!

    • Lauren Mokasdar Post author

      Oh wow, I bet the singing away amazing at your parents carol party!! I can just imagine, fab!!
      How amazing to have met your partnee at a Christmas Eve party… that is today, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!

      That is lovely!

      I hope you are well and have a Merry Christmas!!

      Lauren xx

      • Every Day Adventures in Asia

        We should have done recordings of our annual Christmas party. 🙂 Alas as the years go by some folks have moved or passed on.

        And yes – I woke up today with an extra burst of joy feeling blessed by all that has happened since my partner and I met 3 years ago!!

        • Lauren Mokasdar Post author

          How wonderful!!!
          Would have been lovely to hear your carol party, maybe you can organise a reunion next year and get as many people as possible together!
          I hope you are well,
          Happy New Year!! xx

          • Every Day Adventures in Asia

            Would involve being in Winnipeg in Dec – brrr!!! And alas some of the opera singing gang sadly are no more…. most of us from the next generation didn’t quite take up singing so seriously.

            However am well and surviving both the marriage marathons of the season and partner relatives descending from every corner!

            Happy New Year!!!

  • Ksenia Kletkina

    “India forced me face my fears head on, I was thousands of miles away from my definition of normal” – wow, how nicely put! I feel exactly the same about my experience.

  • Divya

    Dear Lauren
    I am so glad you are having a good time 🙂
    I eagerly await your next post 😀
    Love to you and your family xoxo

  • surya

    “….. I am planning on writing several posts about Christmas and Christmas traditions before the big event itself.”

    Don’t !
    Nagpur has some strong organizations that bemoan (not without a reason) the illegal conversions of the poor and gullible hindus by the predatory evangelicals who bring in loads of cash from Australia to Europe to America. Your family there will get into trouble if you propagate the faith, for the same groups see you and brand you as an evangelical. And not to mention it is a small town.:(

    • Lauren Mokasdar Post author

      Hey Surya,

      I have read about these organisations based in Nagpur. I am not trying to convert people, I strongly believe in spiritual freedom, I am only writing about my experiences and my traditions. I really don’t feel my family are in danger, I am sure that most of my non-Christian readers will be very interested to read about the Christmas traditions and I love sharing them.

      I know what you are talking about though, it is a very scary prospect and I hope the threats are idle.

      I hope you are well and thank you for your concern,
      Take care,

  • garga sarkar

    i think if anybody reads laurens posts he can clearly understand that lauren is a far better hindu than some of us.so if lauren writes about christmas it will be taken as good gesture.

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