Easiest isn’t always Happiest 34


It was my 27th birthday yesterday, and what a year it’s been! I can safely say, the best year so far. Far from the easiest, but definitely the happiest. Whilst I was 26, I built stronger bonds with family (in England and India) and broke bonds with unhealthy beliefs about myself. I have learnt that seeing your child in pain is more painful that childbirth. I have learnt how important it is make a life long commitment to learning and to make lemonade out of those lemons.

My birthday last year involved morning sickness. I later started to watch my stomach grow and grow, then wiggle and squirm. I faced a tough decision on whether or not to stay in the Indian Summer or return to England to give birth. We had a beautiful baby shower, a heartbreaking goodbye and long haul flight. I spent two days in labour, two hours pushing and two months in with my family, making happy memories, before flying back to India (to make a few more).

 

I’ve felt the sting of guilt when taking my baby away from a family who adore him and the blissful sigh of relief when reuniting him with his father and family who cherish him. An international marriage is not easy, there are many disadvantages. It’s been a tough road, and continues to have its bumpy days. But, where is just so much I would have missed out on if I didn’t take that leap of faith.

my-sister-and-i-babywearing-in-india

To this day, I’m still surprised that I met someone so special on the Internet. This year I realised if I hadn’t moved to India for love, I would not have faced the challenges that helped me learn, grow and heal. If I hadn’t moved to India for love, I would not had the experiences that have shaped me into the person I am proud to be today.

Someone close to me told me, before I moved to India, it would be easier to marry someone from England. Easier? Probably. Would I have been happier? I doubt it!

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If you want to help me celebrate my birthday, please consider making a donation to Women In Need. A charity based in the city I call home, Nagpur.

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About Lauren Mokasdar

Lauren fell in love on the internet, took a one way flight from England, got married & started a new life & bicultural family in India. She writes about finding happiness & balance between two very different worlds, when her baby takes a nap.


34 thoughts on “Easiest isn’t always Happiest

  • Tracy Patil

    That is such a sweet sentiment Lauren. You are right it is and can be difficult but it is worth it. Our lives are enriched by new and beautiful experiences with people we would not otherwise have met. I hope there will be more people in the future making that leap of faith, just like we did. Love to you and your family and may you have many more years of happiness and fulfillment.

  • Lindsey

    Happy Birthday! I understand how hard the decision of where babu should be born is. I had to make that choice this summer. I am American and my husband is Guyanese (from south america). I live and work in Guyana and our baby os due in November. After many discussions and other factors I decided baby will be born here is Guyana, South america. I feel guilty not being around my family but my parents support my decision, in fact my mom will fly here hopefully in time for the birth. I feel guilty that the baby won’t meet my family until june/july and that he won’t be around them like his cousins are…but this is the path I have chosen…like you said not easier but happier

    • Lauren Mokasdar Post author

      Thank you, Lindsey!
      Congrats, wow, next month! Sending love!!
      It is definitely such a hard decision and so great to have support!!
      I hope your mom makes it! Lots of love mumma xx

  • Justyna

    Happy birthday Lauren! All the best! We are almost at the same age (im only one year older than you) 😀 Its seems like you learn a lot on last year, i wish you wonderful next year wth sun, smile, and your family!

  • Shanta

    What an eventful and memorable year you’ve had! Wishing you peace, love, and happiness in the coming year. And taking the “easy” route is often the boring route. Yes, an intercultural marriage requires a bit more work and “adjusting”, but it is so worth it. Our lives are richer, more diverse, and we learn so much from our partners. 🙂 Thank you for sharing your life with us, Lauren!

  • friend

    Many happy returns of the day little sister. May god bless you with all the happiness. Oh, where is the cake?

  • stockdalewolfe

    Happy Birthday, Lauren!! It was my husband’s birthday yesterday, too. No wonder I live your blog!! Our stars are aligned. Actually I think it has more to do with previous lives than the stars. In any case, I am so happy for you and proud of you for taking the leap of faith. I am sure it has not been easy. But no worthwhile thing is. <3 <3 ellen

  • anenglishwomaninmumbai

    Twenty-seven is an awesome and exciting age – this is when Saturn’s return begins to have it’s influence. In astrology it is believed that during this time between 27-31 (29.5 yrs is the exact time) the influence of Saturn completing a full orbit since your birth has some effect on your life and development and you are supposed to transition from youth into adulthood. Whether you believe in astrology or not the sentiment remains true – these next few years are traditionally a testing time in many people’s lives, but ultimately will shape the strong foundations of your life to come. It is all about questioning yourself and reassessing your perspective on things. It is a time of soul searching and answers – not all of them the ones you want to hear if you go by many of the articles on the subject.
    Sounds like you are moving into your Saturn’s return grabbing it by the horns with your feet firmly on the ground! Easiest isn’t always happiest is totally a motto for your Saturn’s return – keep on viewing life with this positive attitude and brilliant determination. x

    • Lauren Mokasdar Post author

      Thanks for sharing that, Cotton! Someone did mention to me that there was something significant about 27! So interesting!! It does seem to be true 😀
      Lots of love xx

  • Dinamarquesa

    Belated happy birthday! This post of yours really made me smile, as I have heard that “Wouldn’t it be easier if you had just found a guy from around here?” First of all, looking at all of my friends who are single, it isn’t that easy to just *find* someone, and when it comes to someone worth spending your life with… When you find that person, it’s quite difficult to just let go. We are currently stuck in bureaucracy limbo, and would I not have loved to not deal with that level of insanity? Of course, but then it would also mean being without my husband, and that I don’t want to. And, as you say, the challenges make you who you are. Imagine the tales we will have to tell our grandchildren.

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