Lauren

I Met My Soulmate, Online

It was a very cold December in 2012 when my life changed forever, I had just started to recover from a deep depression which had left me unhealthy, exhausted and completely depleted. I felt there was something was missing, I was suffering from a deficiency of some kind, I couldn’t work out what.

I’ve been a vegetarian since I was about fifteen years old. One evening, I felt so weak I needed to take action. I picked up my phone bought chicken from the local chicken shop, thinking it might be animal protein I needed to fill the dull emptiness.

I woke up the next day feeling awful. I looked at the box of chicken bones and let out deep sobs into my pillow, not for the remains of the bird, for what little remained of me. I took the box and, still in my pyjamas, I walked the short distance to the sea. Dawn had just broken, a heavy salty mist hung over the pebbles. I threw the box of bones into the sea and watched it float back and forth in waves for a while. I saw the misty outline of someone walking in my direction along the shore, so I left the beach and slept until the evening.

When I woke up, I tidied my bedroom, made a large cup of tea and brushed my hair. I decided it wasn’t meat I needed, it was self care, patience and time. I considered I might be lacking in protein too, I wanted to do vegetarianism better. I opened my laptop and became a member of a vegetarian forum, eager to learn more about getting the right nutrition on a vegetarian diet. Minutes after signing up, I received a message.

I wasn’t the person who spoke to strangers online, it was something I found odd and unnecessary. Usually I would completely ignore any messages from unknown senders, but for some unknown reason, I replied.

My heart started to beat faster as in no time we were discussing everything about our lives in uncensored detail. It was unbelievable how intense the conversation became with this faceless person within minutes. Trying to come with an explanation, I wondered whether we had a past life connection. As this thought crossed my mind the words, “we must have known each other in previous lives” popped up onto my screen.

These moments of synchronicity continued, it was as if we could read each other’s minds. I couldn’t believe it. Within hours we started to imagine our a life together. Had I gone mad? I realised I loved him, but, how could this be? We hadn’t met, we hadn’t even seen each other.
He was in New Jersey and I was in England. He had gone to America from India to gain his masters degree and stayed there for work. After just a week of instant messaging, he had asked me to marry him. One week after that, he had quit his job and booked a flight back to India so he could tell his family that he had met the woman he wanted to marry. The flight was via London with a long layover.

I stood as still as stone, my gaze fixed on the arrivals board. The moment came and when I saw him I was filled with joy, I can still see him coming through those double doors. We had ten beautiful hours together before he had to catch his connecting flight to Mumbai.

We took the underground to central London and walked around the street lamp lit city under soft rain, we saw the sights and talked all night. We seemed to be the only people in London. Those hours past in a heartbeat and soon it was time for us to separate. I cried hysterically when it was time for him to leave. I could feel my heart telling me to never let go of him.

Life was hard during the months after London, but he kept me going throughout. I completed my masters degree, and now it was my turn to catch that flight to Mumbai.

In June 2013, I arrived in India for the first time, only six months after our first online conversation. We had a secret marriage ceremony in a temple, just the two of us, one week later. I had found what I had been looking for.

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34 comments

  2. Your story is like mine in a lot of ways. I’m a vegan and was going through some terrible things – dealing with an ex with an addiction problem, and a recently beating Cancer. One day I met another vegan online in a vegan forum on Facebook. We hit it off immediately. I was a little more reluctant than he as he told me a week in that he would marry me, but 8 months later I found myself on a flight to India. We’ve been living together 4 months now and we’re planning our wedding for February. I’m happier (and healthier!) now than I’ve ever been.

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  3. Soooo beautiful and romantic story! ❤ I thought we doing everything fast (engaged 6 months after first conversation online), and we planning our wedding on November, but when you meeting your soulmate you don't have to wait, you know this is it! And now are last 53 days to our final reunion, and im going to New Delhi to be with Love of My Life! God bless you and your family Lauren ❤

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  5. Such a beautiful, wondrous story… I never tire of hearing it. I came to this world searching for love and it took me a breakdown and many years but he walked up to my desk at work one day and didn’t even say hello. But a few months later I knew we would marry. In whatever way it comes, it is magical or more, I should say, mystical. Love to you and your beautiful family!! xxellen

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  7. It’s sounds too good to be true u know.. plz dont take it in a negative way. I m not implying that it’s not true, not in tiniest way.. it’s just that u don’t come across these kind of stories daily.. if somebody else had narrated this story, I would have thought that it’s a movie(especially Disney). U see I think of myself to be a very rational person. I believe that even love(other than mother’s love) is rational too, at least to some extent. But then your story, nothing is rational.. u know after reading your story, sometimes i wonder if I can ever feel what u felt. But then I know myself, I can never feel what u felt. In short, what u have is veeeeeery rare, too good to be true.. God bless u and your loved ones

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  10. I live in USA. He lives in India. We text. Email. Talk on phone. And video chat. We talk of getting married. I’m going through divorce now. He has masters degree in computers and teaches in Punjab. He lives in very poor conditions. We are working towards getting him to America on work visa. I have been scammed before. So I am wary of it happening again. I find it hard to completely commit to him because I just don’t know for sure if he truly loves me, or am I s way for him to come to USA. He needs me to send him money because his living conditions are so bad. I have seen in video and pictures. How can I be sure?

    Jo

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    • Punjab is one of the most affluent states in India, and while you can’t compare the living standards of a Punjabi to an American I can assure you it is impossible that he is living in conditions as bad as he describes. A masters degree in computer programming has incredible earning and career potential in India, so even if he chooses to teach (which I have nothing against,and is a noble profession) he could very easily get a job that pays him a [i]lot[/i]more. Check out out these links that tell you how much the average computer expert makes in India.

      http://www.payscale.com/research/IN/Degree=Bachelor_of_Engineering_(BEng_%2F_BE),_Computer_Science_(CS)/Salary

      While I hate to be a cynic and do truly believe in the beauty of love, I have witnessed firsthand my sister get cheated and go bankrupt, both emotionally and financially over an online affair with a Canadian. It was terrible and nearly tore our family apart. There was a point where she was stealing money from us to send to him, and when she eventually discovered the scam she tried to kill herself.

      While these sorts of things are seldom black and white – in her case,she was undiagnosed bipolar – scammers (men,mostly) learn to look for signs of emotional distress and learn to prey on them. So you should ask yourself, are you giving him any indications that you might be lonely/unhappy/vulnerable? Has he ever used your affection as a means to blackmail you? Are you in an unhappy place in your life emotionally?

      If the reasons for your affection are purely philanthropic and you would like to give your love and help unconditionally, I suggest you look at working with charities that arrange microfinance loans to the needy in third world countries including India. FINCA international is a good place to start. Having worked in the social sector I have seen lives being changed for the better for so many, and its not a donation but a loan that is paid back in most cases (over 98%) within a year.

      However, your first responsibility is towards yourself Jo. You cannot take care or love anyone if you can’t love yourself first. Please reach out to family or friends if you feel unable to cope with things. Having studied and worked in the US (I lived in Hartford,CT) I know it can get lonely and overwhelming at times, it did for me. But there is so much to love about America as well, not the least of which is SouthPark. So I want to leave you with a quote by Mr Twig I found to be very profound -“Love isn’t a decision, it’s a feeling. If we could decide who we love, it would be much simpler, but much less magical”.

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      • Thank you. He has never asked me for money before. In videos I’ve seen his home which is very poor. And the school he works st. Which looks very shabby. His clothes are worn. Most of his money goes to pay bank loans for his motorcycle and his sister’s wedding which he financed. What’s left is for utilities, food, gas, phone.

        He says I shouldn’t come there because it is it dangerous for foreigners. Although he says if I wish to come he will protect me.

        He says he told his family about me, and I e asked to speak with them and he could translate. But he says it’s not common for parents to speak with a son’s girlfriend. Or fair family either to get involved until it’s close to marriage. Is that true? He is Sikh religion.

        I love talking to him. He’s been so supportive through my divorce. He’s always having financial problems but hasn’t asked for money. Until now.

        His sister was visiting and she told him she would love to have an MP3 player. So he asked if I could buy her one and send it, since she can’t buy a good one in India. They are only duplicates. I said. Eith all your financial problems I think it’s off you are worrying about an MP3 player. And we got into an argument.

        my brain is saying that he is using me. But my heart argued to me. He tells me to stop being negative. He tells me he spends all his free time with me and loved me.

        He lives with his parents and pays for their living expenses. His house is very poor. The kitchen is bad. I’ve seen it. And I feel bad for him. But I don’t want to be a fool.

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      • Your post raises several red flags. Most glaring of them is his reticence to let you speak to his parents, especially since he has told them about you already. Don’t you think conservative and traditional parents would be more anxious to meet his fiancee than if they were not?
        It is not common for parents to be not involved in their children’s relationships. I know its weird, but Indian parents are nosy that way.
        The thing about the MP3 player is also unusual. Who uses an MP3 player these days?
        At the risk of repeating myself, I would urge you to ask him about his academic credentials again. The story of him being poor, but having a masters degree in computers seems like a fabrication to me. One of them has to be untrue.

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    • Hi JoAnn, Iam from India and have been living in the States for the last 20 years. I heard a similar story before and the woman didnt have a good final outcome. DO NOT SEND money to anybody in the name of love.It is not a good idea. Look for alternatives in the States instead. Iam not a frequent visitor to this site and happened to be here today and your post made me sit up and take notice. You are going through a divorce and hence are vulnerable, it is not common for Indian men to marry a divorcee unless he is also a divorcee or a widower. As a man I would like to strongly advice you to move away quickly and irreversibly. Good luck.

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    • Hi Joann,
      I’m a Canadian married to a Punjabi and living in Punjab. I hate to be harsh and a downer but from everything you’ve written, it seems 99% like a scam to me. First of all him saying it’s not safe for foreigners here is a complete crock. I’ve lived here a year and a half, going places independently and nothing has ever happened to me.
      While it is true that many parents are wary of talking to or acknowledging a girlfriend relationship, if they do in fact know about you and are at all considering allowing you two to marry they would for sure want to talk to you. I’m also quite sure that if he has told them he hasn’t told them you are a divorcee.
      Also, as the other commenters said, while salary is low comparative to the US, someone with a masters degree is for sure not “poor”. His family would have to have money to even send him to school to get the degree.
      Sorry if I’m offensive in my frankness but I would hate for a nice person to get played.

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  11. Hi Lauren! I stumbled upon this blog randomly and over the last few weeks, I have been reading it from the beginning. I’m an American-born Indian (NRI!) living in California and admittedly not as in touch with my roots as I ought to be. So I’m learning a lot from your posts and also really enjoy your perspective. Looking forward to reading more!

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  12. I love reading your words. I’ve never stopped following your posts, even if I haven’t always commented. You are so inspiring and beautiful Lauren xxxx

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  13. This tamil movie has subtitles and is about a beautiful love story set in the colonial times with a beautiful ending. It has english subtitles so you wont feel wanting for translation and has some wonderful songs!!

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  14. How beautiful! I am American and have been married to a South indian man for 5 years. We have a 2 year old daughter. We are living in America and plan to stay here forever, but will hopefully be able to visit his family in India in the next 2 years. Great blog!

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  15. Lauren, you are blessed to have found your true partner. May you both live long and happy life. I myself believe in signs and omens given to us by nature. When there is a sync between the brain and the heart for something, i can tell its not easy to get those both to sync at something easily, its true for you.

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